Politics & Lifestyle


Posted By

On Mar 15, 2016

By Sibongile Oageng K

I was once told I’d never find a man to marry me.

Apparently, I am too stubborn and feisty, too proud and opinionated or too loud and liberated. Initially, it didn’t bother me. I was like, “it’s fine, I don’t mind. I’m independent”. But then I started thinking about it and the paranoia settled in. What if no one wants me?

I believed I didn’t meet society’s definition of a lady, but with time I realised that, actually:

I can be opinionated.

I strive to be liberated.

I am loud and proud to be, because as much as I love having this body, it tends to have its boundaries.

The fruit in between my legs is seen as a scale upon which they weigh my intelligence or it’s exploited to resurrect dead presidents. And so, I speak against some of the nonsense that a privileged few pass for knowledge, morals and history. We’ve been hearing his stories; I think it’s time we change the narrative.

So, listen closely.


My pussy is not a commodity to which everyone is entitled.

For whom I spread my knees, how many times and why is My Own.

Not something to be judged or justified because the choice is Mine and Mine Alone.

So, those of you who want to blindly play along, go right ahead.

Don’t think for yourselves- dance to the puppet master’s melody instead.

In the meantime, I’ll be waiting for the Real Men to get up

Because let’s face it, we been fed up.


My heart doesn’t beat for your entertainment.

I have no patience for your ignorance.

Don’t confuse this with resentment

I just don’t have the energy to keep nursing your insecurities.

I don’t have time to pretend and defend ideas like size doesn’t matter.

Of course, it depends

But Real Men don’t walk around with measuring sticks to compare their thing.macho-men


So, go preach your false masculinity to those who’ll listen.

The time will come for you to do the same.

When you’ll finally disinfect your mind,

Set it free from the constraints of inequality and lunacy

Brought about by your precious patriarchy.


Contrary to what you perceive,

My lips were not primarily made to satisfy your needs,

My tits and ass are not only there to feed and be squeezed.

My hips were not just designed to carry your babies.

My individuality does not need your validity.


Don’t be afraid of my tenacity. Match me.

We are a team.

You are my King. I am your Queen.

Don’t bring me down to boost your self-esteem.


I am a woman and privileged to be.feministlogo

Ngithi Malibongwe

Igama lama Nkosikazi.


Check out Sibongile’s blog When I Be On The Mic.

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