Sex, Relationships & Love

I’m Officially Missing You: A Few Tips on Handling a Break Up

Posted By

On Sep 8, 2022

HOLAAfrica, HOLAA,ithongomusings

Heartbreak is real and as HOLAA!, we also want to be there for you during the bad as well as the good. We know that relationships end so we just wanted to drop a few reminders about break ups (‘cause they really do suck). 

Here is a  mini list of things to remember about break ups:

  1. Even if your relationship ended, it doesn’t mean it failed. Or that you failed. You are still whole and worthy. The fact that it didn’t work out is not a reflection on your personal worth as a human, these things happen. Relationships end and sometimes it isn’t anyone’s fault. And even if it is, it’s not all you are. It hurts but the pain and feeling of failure will pass. You are so much more than the relationship and its subsequent ending. 
  1. We are made up of all the things we experience so a break up (and the relationship that came before it) are really good for taking some life lessons and growing from them. This is all part of the healing process, asking yourself, what did I learn from this time and what can I take away from it? 
  1. Remember that relationships ending are a normal healthy part of interacting with other humans. Also remember the alternative to NOT breaking up could be much worse (i.e. staying in an awful situation).
  1. Also getting broken up with doesn’t mean that you are a failure or unworthy in any way. Whether someone wants to be with you or not does not determine your worth in this world. Much as it might be hard to see that now, hopefully this realisation will settle in. Sometimes people make decisions for themselves and that’s OK. You are still a frikkin’ vibe and are very lovable (we personally think you are the bee’s knees). 
  1. We read something that said if you had never experienced a break up you would still be with the first person you dated. That alone is a big yikes. Imagine still being with that first ex who is now posting bare nonsense on Twitter/ Facebook. You do not need that content in your life. 
  1. Also break ups often bring a period where there is a massive glow up and a blossoming of self growth so there is  much to look forward to. You can also look forward to when you hit the streets again looking and feeling like a bad bad. 
  1. Also, relationships (good and bad) help shape who you are, what you know and how you move through the world. So the magical person you are now is in part due to those people who were in your life. 

Want an anthology that also has some heartbreak stories (and some sexy sensual stories too)? get your copy of Touch: Sex, Sexuality & Sensuality for all the sexy essays. Get it at all good bookstores and online! 



Check out the Basically…Life Podcast (on all platforms) and our YouTube series We Are F**kin Here for other vibes that show how queers are living, lovin’ and f*ckin.

For more info about all things gender and sexuality download our Touch Manual which has a bunch of info about dating, sexuality, gender, sex and much more!

Also visit our Instagram page and Twitter account for even more great content!

Comment and share your posts! Your name and email won’t be shared.