Do you remember your first orgasm? What emotions did you feel? Mine was fear but I’m getting ahead of myself here. I was recently reminded of my very first orgasm and I’d like to share two stories.
I started masturbating in my late teens, while I was at university. I can be a very technical person so I “learned” how to do it “right” by reading self-help books and visiting websites that offered advice on masturbation. It was self-experimentation galore. I’d try different kinds of touching but never came.
It felt like too much of a bother, I guess I was lazy too. Things changed one night, I think I had read some erotica. I lay on my bed touching myself until I felt the world tip over. I stopped immediately. That was when the fear came in. I was scared. I still don’t know why I was. Could it be that I felt guilty?
No, I wasn’t thinking about hell at that point. Still you never know, maybe that was embedded into my subconscious. I tried again and this time, something came out. It came out of me like a splash and I was convinced it was pee. From then on, I started putting a towel under my bum any time I masturbated.
Eventually, I learned what squirting was and that it was okay. But I still didn’t feel right about it which is why I guess the waters ran dry for years.
Fast-forward years to last week. I’ve been living the celibate life. I touch myself but not as often as I would if I was having frequent sex. Still once in a while the “congi” catches me. So I’m feeling horny and I look for this tiny bullet vibrator I bought the last time I felt this way. I’m just there rubbing the vibrator on my clit then I decide to switch things up and position it a different way. Within seconds I’m about to orgasm and I feel something drip out of me…then it’s, oh shit!
I reach below my bum in an attempt to catch the “squirt”.
The “squirt” comes in one huge wave anyway.
So I’m there, one hand under my bum yet the bed is soaked. I still sniff it because despite the fact that this has happened to me several times, I still think “pee”. Then I remember I peed before heading to bed anyway.
This incident reminded me of those days in university when I started exploring my body and my sexuality. It’s been almost a decade now since those days but I’m still coming to terms with this.