Posted By HOLAA
On Feb 11, 2016
By HOLAA ed
Ever wondered if you could find a set of conversations that could make you know your partner better quickly? Well we may have found something like that. Now be warned, this test is not to show you whether you love each other or not or even if you know each other, it is to allow you to explore each other and learn new things or reaffirm the things you know.
It is not a test, it is more of an…exploration. Your partner answers the questions and you listen and vice versa.
We found the test on the New York Times website. In the article they say ‘In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions.
The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.
The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.
Make sure you answer the questions truthfully. Yes you can make jokes, but make sure the answers come from a real place because the conversations that can come from it are awesome.
These questions are a way to help you really get to know each other. Some of them seem silly but just struggle on. Also this could take some time, especially if done properly. Also be open to the answers, let the conversation flow.
The questions come in three sets, again this may take a long time (took us three hours because of all the side convos, topping up drinks and all other manner of things).
At the end you are supposed to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes.
Ok here we go with the test, have fun! Remember, this is to help you guys grow.
Set I
Set II
Set III
For more things on love check out For Bae, A Letter To Zan, SThandwa Sami and some other love type vibes.
*leave a comment on the post, you can write it under a different name and your email will not be published.*