Back to All Articles
Love & Relationships

Sexting Etiquette 101: How to Send Your Juicy Bits Digitally and Safely

Posted By

On Jul 12, 2022

Notification comes up.

It’s a new photo from bae.

It is also past midnight, so you know this is going to be good.

Look, we just came through/ are still kind of in a panini (pandemic) and one thing being separated showed us we need to get our nude taking/sending game on lock. So here are some tips for doing that. 

Welcome to Sexting Etiquette 101. 

To ensure that we are all doing things properly we prepared some notes on how to send your saucy bits to other folx in a respectful, safe and non-ashy manner. 

  1. Do not send unsolicited genital pics: Yes you think your juicy bits are tasty but before you send them on make sure that the other person, a) agrees and b) wants to be part of that tasty event. Ask before sending nudes.
  2. Clean your mirror and cameras: You know when you get a picture and you can see the lens had specks on it? We do not want that with nudes. That beautiful body is too nice to be marked by dust and grease on the camera or mirror. Just give both a wipe down. Depending on how you are taking the nude,  wipe the mirror and front/ backward facing camera. It takes two seconds and greatly increases the picture quality. 
  3. Moisturise: Fam, we are not sending ashy nudes. Not in the year of our our HD cameras. We do not do that, we will get some of the butters (shea or cocoa) and we shall make sure our ass is looking good for these pics. Love yourself.
  4. Prepare your space: This is two-fold, firstly removing things that are distinct to your space will help keep your anonymity and secondly no one wants to see your laundry in the background of your nude. We are serving photo shoot set here people, we are serving a whole experience. Clean your space, move stuff out of the shot and make the magic happen. 
  5. Angles my angel: This is not a mug shot. You do not just have to be mean mugging looking straight at the camera. Find your angles. Try different shots. Squat. Lean Back. Try classic selfie mode where the camera is super high facing down. Work it. 
  6. Do not put your face in the pictures: Angles and artistic concepts are your friend. Staring straight into the camera whilst butt naked is not a good idea (and mirror selfies are also not the most flattering). It’s either “the eyes or the prize” in this case. Never both.
  7. Edit out distinguishable markers: Tattoos, moles, birthmarks and the like do not need to feature when you are sending nudes. Use a photo editor to remove them or avoid having them in the photo all together. There are also apps that help obscure parts of a picture to keep it anonymous.
  8. Show me yours if I show you mine: If someone has your pics insist on having theirs in return. Not for the purpose of sharing their nudes if they leak yours but for them to stop and think “they have my nudes so let me take care of theirs.”
  9. Don’t ever feel forced to send nudes: Send nudes because you want to. Never EVER feel pressured to send nudes to anyone.
  10. Mark and track your pics: When you send your nudes to different people put a different watermark for each person so if they leak you know who did it for sure.
  11. Trust is key: Sending nudes is about trust because someone having pictures of your bare ass can leave you vulnerable. Do not take the trust factor lightly, send them only to those who you feel would protect you and your images.
  12. Use platforms that automatically delete photos and encrypt messages: Apps such as Instagram and SnapChat have “self-destruct” functionality when it comes to photos. Cover Me also allows for encrypted messages. Granted you cannot stop someone screenshotting them but at least you know there is a time limit on the pics before they disappear. Research the available platforms that make sending your nudes more safely.
  13. Be wary of the infamous screenshot: Even if photos are automatically deleted from certain platforms the screenshot is still the biggest weakness to anyone’s sexting game. Never forget about the possibility your private content could be screenshot when deciding whether to send nudes or not.
  14. The cloud is not your friend: Do not store your images on digital platforms. Ever. There are enough horror stories of people’s nudes being leaked after their online storage was hacked. Do not be one of them.
  15. Keep your photos under lock and key: There are lots of apps and other ways to keep your pics password protected. You can put them in a protected folder and make sure the person you blessed with them does the same just in case you lose your phone or device.
  16. Data scrub the photo: When you send a photo it gets sent with a whole bunch of information like the date and time the photo was taken, the device ID, camera settings, and thumbnail image and description. Figure out how to get rid of this stuff so the photo cannot be tracked back to you.
  17. Remember the consequences: Much as sending nudes can be fun, having them leaked often isn’t. Also, sadly women are far more affected than men when it comes to having their lives turned upside down by things like Non-Consensual Intimate Image (NCII) abuse (often incorrectly called “revenge porn”). This is something to think about before you press send.
  18. Know that you are magic: You. Look. Amazing. Sweetie. Remember that. These nude selfies are fire and you should be proud of them. Sizzling to say the least!

Take a look at these articles about safe sexting:

***

Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

Check out the Basically…Life Podcast (on all platforms) and our YouTube series We Are F**kin Here for other vibes that show how queers are living, lovin’ and f*ckin.

For more info about all things gender and sexuality download our Touch Manual which has a bunch of info about dating, sexuality, gender, sex and much more!

Also visit our Instagram page and Twitter account for even more great content!

To submit to HOLAA email: submissions@holaafrica.org