Posted By HOLAA
On Aug 13, 2018
Note: This was written for women who crush on women but can apply to everyone
Occasionally, there is that woman who piques your interest. You probably see her from a distance or maybe you see her up-close. You probably feel an affinity; you probably feel lust. All you know is that you would not mind being friends (or lovers) with her. Your feelings are valid, because you are human. If they were “unnatural”, you would not have them to start with. Nature, not nurture/society, decides what is natural. If society decided what was natural, no one would be born intersex.
This article works on the assumption that the woman you like is unaware of your existence. Also, you two live in the same town. I came up with these steps from my interaction with different women. Here they are:
Do NOT Barge Into Her Space
Like water, flow into her space. Do not be aggressive, learn to be subtle.
Acquire a Connection
Be friends with her friends. All is fair in love, and it is okay to try and find ways to be in the same spaces as her through social interactions. It will also help build a rappore cause now you do the same stuff. Do your homework, get Introduced, And because you are friends with her friends, there is a high chance you will bump into her, no matter how reclusive she is. If that is not happening, find ways to get her friends to bring her out of her shell.
Be Charming
As you have found out about her her, you should be able to know what to say around her. Get her to talk about something she is interested in. The point is that you are getting her to talk and you are listening. We love people who listen.
Be Subtle
This is key. Do not put your intentions out there. Do not blab, “Nyen-nyen-nyen… I like you.” People have done this. They failed! DO. NOT. PUT. IT. OUT. THERE. No one loves A SUFFOCATOR. This would raise her guard. Befriend her, hang out with her. Text her. Call her. Flirt with her. Have activities together. Make yourself “useful” in her life. You could be that person she talks to when she needs to talk. Be creative.
Up the Ante
For you to get to this point, it means you really feel deeply about her. She probably knows this too. The connection between you has been set and the flirtations and interactions have hopefully made your intentions clear. It should not be much of a chore asking her to be your girlfriend.
Be honest about what you want and ask her out. If she says no, it does not mean you two can’t be friends.
This list is just a start of the things you can do. Getting to know someone can be tricky, but taking the time to engage them as person and taking the time to build something intimate, fun and funky can make for a lasting relationship. In matters of romance, we try our best and see how it pans out. We should not force things. As much as you can let things run naturally between you, if you are looking for something long term then take the time to do the work.
Crushes are fickle, ephemeral. When your crush gets past the three-month phase, it is probably more than a crush.
I’d love to think these apply when anyone, regardless of sex or gender, is trying to get someone –man or woman – to be in a romantic relationship.
P.S. Sometimes, it is sheer undiluted lust. Tell her you are lusting after her and fuck it out of your system. Then again, be subtle. Not like you two get the chance to be alone and next thing you start groping her. Always ask. Consent is key, sis. Don’t “dive in for a kiss.” There should be prior conversations hovering around the idea of you two engaging in fuckery. Consent is always key.
P.P.S. At other times, you want to be friends. Everything should not be about sex. Do not miss amazing friendships for something as primal as sex. This is something I have learnt.
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