Afro Sexual Wisdom

All she wants for Christmas is….

It’s that time of year again. The stores have been decorated since September with mince pies and all the Christmas lights that China could possibly produce for 2014.

At Holaa! we have a feeling that you may not yet have done your Christmas shopping, and your girl is going to be someone else’s girl come Christmas if you don’t have the right gift for her.

So we, your little elves have put together a list of ten things you can choose from to get her.

1. A strip show: Or a lap dance. Take her out and have a lovely lady dance for her or you can have your own private show. That’s right, you can be her favourite stripping Christmas elf this year.

 

 

2. Lube: Because everyone needs lube. There are so many flavours to choose from: cherry, strawberry, pineapple, you name it. Just be sure to know your lubes – silicon-based lube is wonderful, if you’re not using sex toys made from silicon. The silicon-based lube will deteriorate the toy, so choose water-based lube if you’re using toys.

 

3. Anything dapper: Get your favourite girl a flannel or plaid shirt, a waistcoat, a bowtie or a snapback. She doesn’t have to be butch or femme to pull this off, dapper looks good on everyone – seriously go Google Image ‘dapper femmes’. We nearly died at the amount of gawd-damn-hot-beautiful beings out there.

 

4. A strapless strap on: Yes, you read correctly – A strapless strap on! It is essentially a dildo for two, which means you both get to share in the pleasure of the moment. Consider this maybe a gift for you too 😉

 

5. Erotica: This one is for the girl who likes to read, get her a little alternative literature this Christmas and maybe ask her to read a page or two or a chapter to you. You will never look at a book the same way again…

 

6. Club vibe/ohmibod: We nearly died when we saw this one at Holaa! If your girl likes sex (and why wouldn’t she?) and she likes to go out dancing, then this is the gift for her. It’s a little pricey, so maybe you should start saving now for next Christmas. But essentially this wonderful, beautiful gift from whoever invented it gets placed in your girl’s underwear and picks up the vibes from the music at the club and vibrates in her pants. You also get a remote control that you can adjust while you’re dancing with your girl. Just imagine the possibilities…

 

7. A classy yet boozy gift: If your girl likes a good wine, whiskey or even beer, maybe think about getting her a bottle of the good stuff. It’ll show you’ve been paying attention to her tastes. And if she isn’t a drinker, get her a nice bag of coffee beans or a tea that’s made from a combination of herbs, fruits and the tears of fairies, or something exotic like that.

 

8. Massage oils and candles: Find a nice smelling massage oil and some candles, it will be a romantic gesture that will please her olfactory senses. Also you could consider getting her a candle that when it melts turns into a massage oil, there are some really lovely Soy-based candles for this. Warning: if you buy her massage oils and candles, be prepared to be a masseuse, you have to follow through on this gift.

9. New kicks: Shoes. Every girl likes shoes. Butch or femme or neutral. Be sure to know what her tastes are first before heading out to get her shoes, footwear can be a very personal affair and if you get it wrong she make take some serious offence. Maybe take her shopping with you if you’re not sure what to get her feet.

10. The chart:This is important! Especially if you’re in a new relationship and you’re not part of the same circles. At Holaa! we like to call ‘The chart’ the ‘DO NOT TAP CHART’. That’s right, it’s a chart that lays out the lesbian and queer landscape so that you know where you stand in the greater scheme of things and who you can and cannot be talking to…or sleeping with.

P.S. Keep an eye out, we’re going to show you how to make your own DO NOT TAP CHART pretty soon.

 

Good luck with your shopping, and we hope that this Christmas she gives you her heart.