Too Little, Too Late

By Essy

“I am leaving.”

I stood still staring straight into her eyes. “Why?” I asked her.  She replied, “I am leaving my past behind and you are in my past.” Words fail me.  I stutter out a confused “but, but… we just had a mind blowing sex… we made love. Talk to me baby”  My whole existence is pleading with her.

“I stopped making love to you the day I found out about her, that was good bye sex.”

She pushes me on the side, all I can hear is “lesbian whore get out of my way,”  and with that I realise she is pissed and dead serious. I fall to my knees, trying to get her to talk to me but she simply laughs sarcastically. “Bitch please, save that for when you are eating cum out of your side chick”.

She walks out of the door stating that she will return to pick her belongings. My persuasion falls on deaf ears and she seems to have made up her mind. She closes the door behind her leaving me even more confused.

I grab my phone and my calls go unanswered, whilst there are no responses to my short text messages. Time stands still as I lay in bed, staring at the blank ceiling, deafened by the silence in my bedroom, no longer filled with moans and screams of passionate love making and multiple orgasms.

Just silence and smell of defeat, the scent of sex is all but gone and I pass out and get some sleep.

***

I can hear the doorbell at a distance and I wake up, thinking it could be her at the door.

My heart is pounding, I jump out of bed knocking over everything in my haste to  open the door. But before I do, I take a second to catch my breath.

There she was, my sun kisses, beautiful curvaceous, thick, chocolate cream, full lipped bald lover, staring at me straight in the eyes as if to say, ‘You hurt me bad”.

I lean forward to kiss her soft tender lips, she kisses me back, we start moving towards the bedroom, I drop my blue bathrobe, she’s struggling to remove my boxers, I try to unbutton her shirt, but she keeps moving my hands to hold her waist.

Oh she wants to be in control, I think to myself as the kissing becomes increasingly intense. I am now stark naked ready to let loose and allow her to explore my body. At this moment I am ready for my dreadlocks to be pulled out one by one. She pushes me down onto the bed, I fall on my back, pulling her close to me.

She continues to suck on my already hard nipples. Slowly, she pulls back biting her lip and asks me to close my eyes. My vagina throbbing and wet I oblige. My eyes closed the dirty talk continues.

“Open your eyes baby”, she says. I slowly open my eyes and jump up upon seeing her standing by the door. “I am moving to Gaborone, I need to stay away from you. You are not good for me, I need to focus on myself and my career now. Goodbye Essy.”

She says this as she continues to walk towards the door.

“Wait! Please let us talk”, I beg her, she continues to walk out the door. Without realising it, I am running after her, and after the cab she got into, the neighbours are starring. I ask one of them why they are staring at me, have they never seen a lesbian couple before? She points at me, and this is when I realise I am naked. I rush back into the house full of emptiness and regrets.

I should have listened to her more.

She said I was never good to her, I wonder what she meant. I also still wonder if she was my soulmate, the love of my life or just a lesson.  

I coil myself back into bed as the birds sing and the sun rise in Molepolole. I will remember you as the woman who really loved me Acholi.

Essy © 2018

Check out the Initiative for Equality and Non Discrimination (INEND) website and also their Facebook page.  

If you loved this article, you will love When to call it quite and The Break up

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