Ten Confessions of a Demisexual

By ‘Aimee’
Demisexuality: A person who does not experience sexual attraction until they form a strong emotional connection with someone, often in a romantic relationship.

Confession #1:

I can’t hold legitimate conversations with my friends about relationships and sex because they just aren’t the same for me.

Confession #2:

My involuntary celibacy is a side effect of my Demisexuality.

Confession #3:

My need for intellectual and emotional gratification is stronger than my sexual desire especially when it comes to consummating that desire with a stranger.

Confession #4: 

As a Demisexual, lonely can be bitter, lonely can be sweet

Confession #5:

Demisexual thought!!!

“Why did she want to have sex right after we cuddled and talked for a couple hours without establishing the guidelines for a relationship???”

Confession #6: 

My lack of a partner leads me to overindulge in internet porn and junk food.

Confession #7:

Over-analyzing about whether that young woman from Yale University you meet at a conference is romantically compatible with you while you’re trying to have an intellectual conversation about corporate social responsibility just kills the connection!!!

Confession #8: 

Graduating from college as a single Demisexual Lesbian virgin makes for interesting discussions at the club!!!

Confession #9:

Where does the “D” go in LGBTQI?

Confession #10:

The more questions I ask the more questions I have, mostly because I lack community.

For more information about Demisexuality, Asexuality and other Grey-A identities please visit AVEN. Also contact us if you need to be connected to communities where you are – info@holaafrica.org

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Posts from the magical women and gender non conforming people around the African continent. To have your voice on the site email submissions@holaafrica.org with your submission, title of piece and name you want to be published under. For inquiries email info@holaafrica.org. All rights remain with original authors.
  • sylvia
    30th May 2013 - 11:30 am

    🙂
    Confession #6 and #9

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  • sanemiya
    30th May 2013 - 12:53 pm

    “Why did she want to have sex right after we cuddled and talked for a couple hours without establishing the guidelines for a relationship???” – always felt like that

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  • Sweetnes
    3rd June 2013 - 11:38 am

    Wow! finally a word that describes me…
    Confession #3 🙂

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    • HOLAA!
      11th July 2013 - 3:53 pm

      NICE!!!!

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  • Mpho
    4th June 2013 - 9:49 am

    OMG!I think I’m demisexual

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    • HOLAA!
      11th July 2013 - 3:53 pm

      Glad this post shed some light on things…

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  • MJ Aliya
    4th January 2014 - 9:05 pm

    I am the same way. It is frustrating at times it feels like what I desire is so out of reach. A true connection where intimacy precedes sexuality

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  • acegirl_254
    3rd August 2017 - 10:04 am

    I knew i was a lesbian from long ago, but in highschool i couldnt really tell my friends am a lesbian who cant have sex with you even if you are sexy. So i thought i was asexual, and i identifies as one till recently in a relationship and i found i actually had alot of sexual desire for my partner….
    And i recently discovered i am a demisexual.
    Though we broke up…
    So
    confession #5 #7 #8
    Rule me?

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    • avatar
      HOLAA
      14th August 2017 - 2:08 pm

      It is hard to come out to people. Hope you found a space to be you now. It is not easy but finding friends and community helps

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