Giving into my first love
By Nana Yaa Amponsah
Sometimes, in the race of life, we meet certain people who we think mean everything to us. They virtually make our world stand tall with the heights increasing as the days go by. When we are with them, we forget everything around us and give them the maximum attention. They are like the very air we breathe, the only beautiful thing we see and we feel so special in their presence. We tend to miss them the very moment we leave their presence. But no one knows what the future holds.
Five years have passed but it still seems like yesterday with the memories as fresh as water from a waterfall. I had completed one of the prestigious senior high schools in the country and had been offered an opportunity to attend one of the popular universities in the country. My first semester went by smoothly without any eventful happenings.
The second semester began with more zeal for work, resolutions to perform better and hope that the semester would treat me better than the first.
I was a very quiet person who was always in my room reading romantic novels or watching movies. I was only seen when I had to attend lectures. Due to this, I had only a few friends. I was often found alone. I normally walked to the beach which was quite near to my campus whenever I was bored because I loved the serene atmosphere at the shore. I would normally walk around the shore or find a quiet place to sit as I watched lovers lost in conversations or romance. I loved to watch them and It felt so good to see how happy they were.
One bright Saturday morning, I lay in my cozy bed reading a novel because I had nothing to do. The early scorching red sun that morning had announced how warm the day was going to be like. Its shape nicely carved out in the cloudless blue skies which made the atmosphere a delight to watch. I got bored after reading for a while so I decided to take a stroll to the calm beach to ease my boredom. The beach had a welcoming atmosphere scattered with naturally arranged palm trees and other plant species. Characterised by very gentle undulating waves which kissed the naturally drawn shoreline, it was laden with strategically positioned lovers’ benches for scores of people who throng the place for various reasons. It’s very neat surroundings made it attractive as well.
After walking for about fifteen minutes, my instincts whispered to me that I was being followed. I turned with a heavy neck but there was no one behind me. Drowned in inner fear but keeping a steady walking composure, I quickly brushed aside any feeling of anxiety. I kept going but was quick to think about a way of escape should the unthinkable happen. I realized my shadow and I were the only souls at the beach because it was too early to visit the beach were it not for boredom.
I was extremely tense but continued anyway.
Soon, I heard footsteps behind me. As if remotely controlled, I quickly turned and Oh! My! God! Right behind me was this handsome fair guy with a dazzling smile. He wore an afro hair cut which was neatly shaped. In addition to his well-positioned nose was a pair of black eyebrows which almost met. The moustache guarding his cute pink lips stunned me momentarily. He wore a black, V-neck shaped shirt with brown khaki trousers to match his black canvas. He looked simply gorgeous. His infectious smile propelled me to do the same clearly exposing my difficult-to-notice dimples in the process. I suddenly felt this fluttering feeling in my stomach. It was as if a thousand butterflies were chasing each other in there. I was wondering why he had been following me all this while though I kept my cool.
He gave another enchanting smile which sent shivers down my spine. Goosebumps engulfed my body as he kept on smiling. He was the definition of beauty.
He realized the effect he was having on me and this seemed to bolster him. We stood there staring into each other’s eyes and smiling for a few minutes, like fools. And it was as if the sea had stolen the air between us. We were sweating. I couldn’t move and my mind just went blank as if my brain had suddenly gone on a break.
I was totally lost in his charm. I swear, I couldn’t remember my name at that moment.
The feeling was awesome and there and then, I knew I was in love for the very first time. I could only free myself from his spell after he dropped his gaze. It was a magical moment. I was still rooted to the ground. It was as if every part of my body had stopped functioning. With boldness, he walked closer to me and held my hand and suddenly all my frozen limbs got the power to move. I still couldn’t utter a word in disbelief as he held my hand. Was this a movie or a reality?
Mesmerized by his touch, I just walked on as if in a trance with this stranger, neither of us uttering a word. All this while, my heart was beating so fast that at certain times I thought it would fall out of my body. It was only when he cleared his throat that I recovered from my reprieve.
“You are very beautiful,” was all he said. I just smiled in response.
I didn’t reply because his sweet voice left me tongue tied. I finally found my voice after what seemed like forever. “Thank you” was all I managed to say, my voice was so dry that I wasn’t sure if the voice really belonged to me. It sounded so different from usual.
“My name is Eric” he continued.
All I could do was to nod in response, because his voice simply made me dumb. He had the manly voice which I wish I could hear forever. I stole glances at him from the corner of my eyes and I couldn’t help but praise the creator for such a perfect job done. His broad chest and shoulders gave him a very masculine figure, he was very hairy and well built.
He just seemed perfect.
We soon located a lovers bench and helped ourselves by sitting on it. I finally found my voice and told him my name too. We began talking and it was as if we had known each other for years. We seemed to be a match made in heaven. I soon realized he liked reading romantic novels too.
“What is your favourite romance novel?” he asked, a smile still on his face. I looked up into the blue sky as if the title of the book was written in the white clouds that hovered above us. Frankly I had read many novels and I loved them all. “Yes!” I shouted finally “At Any Price…my favourite romance novel is At Any Price.”
He mentioned the name of the author before I even remembered “by Brenna Aubrey. It is one of my favourites too. I loved Mia. She was just a strong and clever medical student” he remarked and I also commented that, “I also loved Adam Drake, he was just a romantic guy, my only tears came from the fact that their relationship was too quick”.
We had a lot in common and this kept us talking for hours. I got to know that he had been admiring me from afar since the first semester but couldn’t approach me because of my nature as a reserved person. He confessed that he was intimidated by my personality whenever he tried making advances at me.
He was a good listener and could hold meaningful conversations for a very long time. It was getting dark and we just couldn’t bear to leave each other’s company. We continued talking till we realized we were the only people left on the beach, alone with the calm sea. We talked for a while and then as if by impulse, we stopped talking, looked straight into each other’s eyes and kissed lightly and briefly.
I had never done it before but I really loved it.
The weather was so cold at the time and I shivered in my dress a bit, he realized this and hugged me so tight that I felt his warmth. His body insulated me from the harsh night. He smelled so nice. I wished I could remain in his arms for the rest of my life. He got up and pulled me from the sand and held me so close to him. I looked down at his feet. I felt he was going to kiss me again but he didn’t.
“Time to go” he said. And I smiled as he put his strong arms protectively around my waist and I clung to him as we strolled towards our campus. I wished we would never reach my hostel. When we got to there I pretended I was eager to go to my room. I turned to leave but he pulled me back and I fell right in his arms and he kissed me passionately. I couldn’t resist because I actually wanted it more than he did. He fixed his gaze on my eye balls and whispered confidently, “you are all I ever wanted.”
I almost collapsed with joy as my legs threatened to give way. I smiled shyly as he asked for my number. I gave it to him and he promised to call me as soon as he reached his hostel. He stood there to watch me leave and when I entered my hostel, I rushed to the window to watch him leave. He walked majestically like a fulfilled man, wait, it was more like an Ashanti King’s walk. I watched till he disappeared into the long distance. I knew I would never forget him.
Several months passed and our relationship grew stronger with each passing day. We were always seen together and seeing one without the other was almost impossible. He got to know I was a virgin (virgin struggle bus) and that increased the respect he had for me. He treated me with so much care that I always felt like a queen in his presence. Then it came to the hardest part, he felt I would leave him one day and the only way to prove my love to him and his worth to me was to allow him break my virginity. I didn’t think too long about the proposal because I was head over heels in love with him. I loved him so much that I was willing to do anything to keep him. I told him I was a bit scared because I had heard that the first time was always painful. He assured me that he would be gentle.
This assurance made me relax.
He visited me as usual one Saturday morning and while we were watching a movie together, he suddenly kissed me. I didn’t think twice but responded. We kissed each other so passionately and I simply ached for more. Pleasure tore through my veins as I couldn’t resist him. He continued kissing every part of my body; from the head to the toe, he breathed so heavily around my neck and paid much attention to my thighs, he kissed there carefully and romantically, he climbed up to my curves and paused to examine the colour of my underwear, they were pink.
I froze, unsure of what to expect. What if it hurt? What is If I didn’t enjoy it? Questions kept running through my mind. He noticed my hesitation and intensified his kisses. Every part of my body he kissed gave me so much pleasure. I began breathing so fast. My body was absorbed in flames of intense pleasure. I soon forgot about all my insecurities and I got lost in the moment. He knew exactly where to touch and the right times to touch. He was so gentle that I totally relaxed.
I suddenly trembled and he asked if I was okay.
I couldn’t talk so I just shook my head in affirmation. I wished what I was feeling would never end. He continued with his caresses till my body threatened to explode with all the heat going on within me. He was obviously not in haste because he was so relaxed and took all his time to romance me. He took my top off while he kept his eyes on me. He instructed me to also take his shirt off simultaneously. Soon we were both naked. I didn’t even realize it because I was on a different planet all together. I was seeing everything red, I was in Mars, and I am sure.
Suddenly, he stopped and looked straight into my eyes. I could see raw desire in his eyes. He clearly wanted this as much as I did. “Do you really want to do this?” he asked and I responded “Yes! Yes!! I need it now.” He smiled. He took a deep breath in and exhaled heavily. He pressed his male organ firmly against my thighs. I could feel how hot it was and the hardness of the erection. A certain fear travelled sharply across my heart. He was really huge and tall. Is this tall thing going to enter me, I thought I felt a sharp pain tear through my body as I gently bit into his skin. Was it in fully or half its length? I asked myself silently in my pains. The fears and the pains almost blindfolded me. He realized I was in pain and relaxed for a short while and continued later. The pain disappeared as suddenly as it came and was quickly replaced with intense pleasure that words cannot explain.
A few minutes later, we lay asleep in each other’s arms.
He lay near me so exhausted and calm. With my head on his chest, I listened to his heart beat so fast. I wanted to tell him how much I enjoyed it. I wish I had the courage to tell him that he took me to heaven and back. But I just whispered “Thank you.” He laughed, drew me closer to himself and asked if I enjoyed it. I was shy, so I nodded as I buried my face in between his two masculine breasts on his chest; this made him laugh more and harder. He promised never leaving me and I told him same. I knew I would never leave him and I believed he loved me too. It was so obvious. We both fell asleep still cuddled together.
Few hours later, he woke up, took a quick shower and prepared to leave after kissing me and promised to call me as soon as he got to his hostel. I followed him to the door and held his shirt. I didn’t want him to leave but he had to, since he had some assignments to complete, He hugged me so tightly and kissed me on the lips and left. I felt he knew how precious he was to me.
I didn’t hear from my Prince charming for two whole days. I called his phone several times but there was no answer. Thoughts of gold diggers inundated my thoughts but I quickly brushed that off still lighting the candle of trust though I felt worried.
I kept calm.
I went to his hostel and his roommates told me, they had not seen him since he left the hostel two days ago. Soon the news was all over the campus. He was knocked down by a speeding bus when he left my hostel and he died on the spot. I collapsed when I heard the news only to come too a few hours later.
Several months later, I stood at his graveside with other mourners as preparations were being made to lower his body into the grave. My beloved Eric Boateng was gone forever. As he was lowered into the grave, I knew a part of me was going to be buried with him forever. To everyone, he was gone but I knew he would always remain in my heart. I was so sure I could never forget him because his seed had been planted in me.
I was five months pregnant.
This was a proof that he would continue to live on. Even though I am sad I lost my first love, I am also grateful for this part of him he left with me. Losing him while carrying his baby wasn’t an easy task at all, but I knew I had to be strong. Not just for myself but for my baby too, our baby actually. I was prepared to go through hell just to have my baby because it was the only part of Eric Boateng I had with me.
I will never forget my Eric and he would always remain in my heart. I will never forget how death snatched from my cold hands, the only one I have and will ever love truly. Your memories live forever, my dear first love.
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