A Painful Truth
By Dolly
I’m so afraid to feel.
To feel something real.
I’ve felt something before.
And it still hurts.
I’m afraid of letting you in
Giving you that opportunity
To hurt me
No one ever does it consciously
But it’s done
There’s always a loser in the corner
Defeated by the unsuspected blows
There’s always someone crying before breakfast
Exhausted by the lows
I gave my whole heart to you
And you just let it go
You promised me forever
But you just never know
How long that could last
How subjective time is
And love
You kept on saying you loved me more
That you loved yourself
You must’ve not loved yourself enough then
It’s all you left me thinking
I overlooked your every flaw
I turned them into little things that made you beautiful
That made you different
That made you unique to me
I forgave all your mistakes
But you just kept making more
Were you testing me?
I can’t know for sure
But you were cruel to me
You were mean
You went above and beyond
All the traditional ways to hurt me
You’ve scarred me
You probably knew
That scars are souvenirs we never lose
You really did never want to lose me
I freeze at times
Because our song starts to play on the radio
Or I see someone else carrying your swagger
Or I smell you in the air
I curse your name
I scream in pain
Fuck you
I say
You had me
But you weren’t strong enough to make me stay
Yet I want to thank you
Since I’ve learned a valuable lesson that I will never lose
The most painful thing you could ever do
Is to love someone so blindly
That you don’t realize
You love them
More than they could ever love you
Check out Dolly’s blog- Diary of a Crazy Awesome Person.
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