Letter to my ex

By X

In a moment of uncertainty, some things can become so clear…

I suppose this is when I should stop calling you to bother you with small, meaningless talk. That maybe I should be reading your unspoken words and put it together that what I had thought we were, no longer is.

I would have thought I deserved better than unspoken ignorance.

That somehow your conscience would whisper to you the best way of going about this, keeping in mind that I am one who encourages honesty and openness. I guess I thought wrong, that maybe I was unclear in my polite requests. This is the perfect time to realise that possibly I was wrong before I make myself of any further nuisance to you. Forgive me if I find myself reaching out to you in a time of momentary weakness, after all I had thought highly of you. Thus, removing and resisting the temptation to contact you may take longer than I anticipate.

But I will try by all means to be of no bother to you.

And in time I will find the right words to utter to you that will set me at ease.

For now I bid you farewell, I hope when you have time you will reflect on some of the things I said you ought to consider. That my being in your life won’t be just a phase you’ll erase or place in the trenches of your mind. That you will learn (if you haven’t learnt yet) a thing or two from our encounter. That later on in this unpredictable life you will look back and say ‘I learnt something valuable from that naive girl I once met.’

Our paths may cross from time to time and I hope that won’t cause unnecessary friction on either side. The first step will be the hardest, like a child’s first attempt at walking, but the next one will be easier as I rid myself of that is you and that was us. Meeting you was an experience that rocked me to the core, with emotions I could hardly explain. But nonetheless an encounter which, amongst others, is meant to mould me into my truest being. I will forever be grateful for the good and the bad.

Once again I learn to love the hardest way and life shows me that we never get what we always aspire to get, but we will forever dream for more and forever yearn for a meaningful encounter with someone.

Check out X’s blog dykerus.

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