By HOLAA ed.
Coming is great. Those moments of euphoric release are incredible. Granted it should not be the only goal of sex, but it is a pretty pleasurable one. We at the HOLAA! camp know it is not always easy to talk about sex, pleasure and all things orgasmic and sometimes we wonder whether everyone is doing their best sex life?
Are people coming? Sadly the silence around sex and pleasure makes this difficult to know. Statistics tell us that 49 % of heterosexual women do not have orgasms during sex and other harrowing stories reveal that some of us have spent years faking it. The queer community is not exempt, there are queer women out there not experiencing the Big O.
Side note: Here is a small video on fingering women to orgasm it’s kind of clinical but helpful.
Sometimes coming can be a problem and this can be because of a whole host of reasons. These can include: having a hard time letting go, simply believing you are unable to, a numb vagina sometimes due to emotional or physical trauma, rushing through foreplay, losing interest/ focus, or ignoring the clitorus but to name a few.
But more and more women are taking back their Big O and learning how to ask, no, demand, orgasms We completely agree. There are so many reasons that seeking out pleasure is a revolutionary act. So we have compiled a list of the different types of orgasms women can have, hopefully one is for you. And hopefully your partner can learn a thing or two, because everyone’s bodies are different so we should have as much info as possible.
Types of orgasm
The clit has 8,000 nerve fibres. Take that in… 8,000. This is the only human organ that is designed purely for pleasure. There are 18 parts to the clitoris which lies both inside and outside of the body.
Note: sensitivity varies from woman to woman, so be aware of this when giving yourself, or someone else, pleasure. Here is an article on how to have a clitoral orgasm. This is often the most common of the orgasms. This kind of orgasm can be given orally, or with the fingers, or both.
‘This kind of female orgasm begins in the vagina and either stays focused in the pelvic and lower stomach areas, or spreads from there.’ All about the rhythmic thrusting on this one and trying out different positions for a deeper vibe. Also lots of communication – speak to her about what she is feeling. There are a lot of women who describe this as less intense than the clitoral orgasm, so for those of you who are just bringing a penis, beware of relying on this too much. Here is a little something on how to achieve it. And here are some reasons you might not be having a vaginal orgasm.
G spot orgasm:
This one is focused on the G spot which is located about 2-3 inches into the vagina. This G-Spot is different in texture, feeling a little bit spongy and course. There are different ways of hitting this spot namely rhythmic pushing or circular friction movements are the best for achieving this kind of orgasm. The fingers are your best friend in this case because they give you flexibility, but sex from the back also does the trick. Want to know a little more about how to achieve this one, here is an article we found.
A spot orgasm:
This is called the Anterior Fornix Orgasm and is a good look for those of you who like that deep penetration. It is achieved by stimulating an area deep in the vagina, about 4-5 inches in. There is a sensitive tissue at the inner front end of the vaginal tube, between the cervix and the bladder. This area generally does not become too sensitive after this sort of orgasm so can be stimulated further. Check with your partner, some women love this, some, not so much.
Deep spot orgasm:
The Posterior Fornix Orgasm. This one means you have to dig deep. You have this climax by stimulating waaaaaayyyyyyy in the back of the vagina just before the cervix. According to one piece ‘direct stimulation of the Deep Spot can cause very intense orgasms.’ Here is a little something on how to give a deep spot orgasm.
The skills for this one lie in the fingers, use the ‘come hither/ come here’ motion with either long or short strokes.
Note: first find out what kind of feeling your partner has when you touch her cervix. Some women enjoy it a lot, and some do not like it at all. Here is an article on finding the cervix.
U spot orgasm:
This kind of female orgasm comes from the stimulation of a small area of sensitive erectile tissue located just above and on either side of the urethral opening. It is in the small area between the urethra and the vagina. This spot can be stimulated with the tongue, fingers or tip of the penis?. Here is a video about to get there.
Focusing on the breasts is magic. Such magic. But it needs to be done right. Breasts aren’t stress balls to be squeezed extremely hard.- unless that is your thing then get permissions and go for it. Instead they can be stimulated with the tongue, fingers or even rubbing against them with different parts of your body. Check with your partner if they like their breasts stimulated.
There are some women who are sensitive orally and their mouth is an erogenous zone. This type of orgasm can be achieved by kissing, licking, sucking, or performing oral sex. Yes you can come whilst giving head.
You can achieve this by rubbing different areas of the body that aren’t directly connected to those areas that are always pin-pointed as erogenous zones. Try lightly stroking different places and see if she shivers. Play with different things: feathers, fruit, lotions and potions and maybe even some melted chocolate to be licked off. And our old time favourite – a sensual massage.
Now this can be achieved through stimulating someone visually or audibly. We are talking music, blindfolds, watching someone do something sensual like strip or pleasure themselves, videos, anything that stimulates her mind. Try a little poetry or whispering in her ear to really turn her on. Shoot, strip for her and see what happens.!
Above are various orgasm types.They can be experienced alone or with a partner (or two or three). We hope that you can achieve one or all of these. We are sure there are plenty more so let us know!
For more advice here is an article about eating pussy like a champ or even spicing up the sex life. Here is also an intro to kink. Also here is an infographic on consent. There is also this piece about The Sex Problem, looking at different ways of having and understanding sex and one’self through one night stands.
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