Fuck it or Pray?

by Anonymous

I sometimes say ‘fuck it’ to the world.

I sometimes pray to the world.

 

My life is in jumbles.

I do not know where to look at the moment.

Whether to say ‘fuck it’ or pray.

 

I am a facing the world.

As usual, fuck it or pray?

What should I do?

 

I am of this world yet have no significant powers.

Fuck it or pray? 

I’m just a mere mortal.

The world is showing me flames and I’m caught within.

Fuck it. Or. Pray.

 

The mere mortal that I am I choose the former.

Fuck it. 

Flames appear in my mind and soul.

Is this my punishment?

Fuck it again.

I stand still for a moment and hold it all.

I think life was just sucked me.

Shortness of breath.

Vacuum feelings.

Deep breath.

Deep breath.

 

Then I pray.

And pray again.

Life just sucked the fuck out of me.

I pray. And pray.

I can feel my head moving to the high waters.

I pray more.

I catch my breath.

Was it prayer that saved me or the idea of prayer?

Do I still say fuck it to the world or did someone listen?

 

Do I still say fuck it or did I listen to those who offered help?

 

Help?

What is that?

How does help come my way?

Does it realize my turmoil?

Does it see what only I can see?

The lies that life brings?

Or should I just pretend?

I hate help. Help has many sides.

Help is what you get after years of enduring pain inflicted by one that you love!

Help is what your moving family offer after years of listening to them talk of you and your wickedness.

Help is what is drummed into your ears as the truth, the way and the life while your feels ngs say something else.

Help is being treated as the outcast that you are.

 

This is why I pray and say fuck it.

 

I’m just gonna lie here and wait for life to happen.

Fuck it or pray. 

 

Immortal me. Life will happen anyway.

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