Of My Wounded Magic

By MampuruLebo

I fell into a helix of self-sacrifice, thinking it to be self-celebration

I draped my sensual prowess into a pretty bow and sent myself into the world

For a fleeting moment

I felt the eminence of sexual prowess

But

Instead of learning to tender to its magic and speak its sweet language

I became drunk with its magic

And went to set every forest of lust I could find, ablaze

I swung it atop a mountain top and soothed all the moths that only tribute their lustful bellies

I laid myself bare and watched wide awake my magic being gulped to fill bellies of lust

And I watched as my magic brewed bitter

 

I confused my eminence of sexual prowess

To mean dominance and defeat over what has always been used to bend me to obedience

I did not realize how I became the very beast I declared to transform to light

Demeaning my very magic and damning myself to be a sacrifice

In the presence of the very court that seeks to oppress me

That mutes and condition me to their whims

 

Now I weep

For pacifying them with my magic without asking for remembrance of my virtue

For helping sew the nook that dangles my freedom for their fancies

 

I weep

With hope to absolve my self-sacrifice and restore the walls of my fortress

To forgive my partaking in this magic without proper knowledge of its sacredness

To appease my body to forgive my forgetfulness and usher me home to restoration

 

I weep

With a prayer of healing to this body that holds me blessed still

To carry me to a haven

Until I am aligned and ready to celebrate once again my magic

With sweet ecstasy and the full knowledge of its sacredness

 

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