Symptoms

By Sibu Malungu

I am awake

Dreams have been shattered

Thank you

I am grateful

I am in pain

My hope for us is gone

But it’s okay

Now I can fully embrace another

Damn, I am here again? Lying to myself

When I know that my heart may never heal

My hope may never be returned

And the innocent will have to be my tourniquet

I am not grateful…or maybe I should be

With every reality snap back, I grow

Or maybe I just give up

See, philosophy has it all figured out

Sadly, my heart chooses not that route

The pain kills me, I don’t grow

I can’t let go

But I am here again

confused

Am I demented? Why can’t I leave this undefended love?

Have I been defeated?

Quotes have prescribed the steps

Yet I keep going from 1 to 3 and back to negatives

My condition isn’t as easy as ABC

Damn it!!! Where are the real solutions?

I can’t come back here

Love should never be a condition or so the poets say

But it is for me, what kind of reality takes no prescribed solutions?

Take away the pain of loving

Take it with you

Take,

go on,

take my heart too.

I may never own it back.

I am here, confused and broken

But pretending to be healing

Dealing the cards life dealt

Or did you deal them?

Maybe I did

with no one else

But I am here

Angry and so in love

For more poetry and prose click here

For more poetry on relationships and break ups check out She, me and her or A painful truth

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