A Painful Truth

By Dolly

I’m so afraid to feel.

To feel something real.

I’ve felt something before.

And it still hurts.

I’m afraid of letting you in

Giving you that opportunity

To hurt me

No one ever does it consciously

But it’s done

There’s always a loser in the corner

Defeated by the unsuspected blows

There’s always someone crying before breakfast

Exhausted by the lows

I gave my whole heart to you

And you just let it go

You promised me forever

But you just never know

How long that could last

How subjective time is

And love

You kept on saying you loved me more

That you loved yourself

You must’ve not loved yourself enough then

It’s all you left me thinking

I overlooked your every flaw

I turned them into little things that made you beautiful

That made you different

That made you unique to me

I forgave all your mistakes

But you just kept making more

Were you testing me?

I can’t know for sure

But you were cruel to me

You were mean

You went above and beyond

All the traditional ways to hurt me

You’ve scarred me

You probably knew

That scars are souvenirs we never lose

You really did never want to lose me

I freeze at times

Because our song starts to play on the radio

Or I see someone else carrying your swagger

Or I smell you in the air

I curse your name

I scream in pain

Fuck you

I say

You had me

But you weren’t strong enough to make me stay

Yet I want to thank you

Since I’ve learned a valuable lesson that I will never lose

The most painful thing you could ever do

Is to love someone so blindly

That you don’t realize

You love them

More than they could ever love you


Check out Dolly’s blog- Diary of a Crazy Awesome Person.

Submit your writing, photos or anything else to HOLAA! email: holaafricaonline@gmail.com

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