Selfish

By Icess Floyd

I’m looking to see if I missed something. If I forgot something.

I know time is ticking, so before you go I have these words to say because this love that will never go away.

Even if you don’t think I’m right for you and we’re not meant to be, this deep love and the pain in my heart won’t let me forget you. I need you to understand this, even though I see your patience is running thin.

I see your bags packed by the door, keys dangling from your finger, your heavy breathing, and your beautiful eyes teary. You just don’t seem to understand why I’m trying to beg you to stay. I do not understand why I waited for the last minute to realize how special you are.

Each morning I woke up next to you there was a smile on my face and I thanked God for this beautiful woman who adored me.

I ignored you and when money entered my life and I changed. I did things that I said I would never do. I became just like your mother who told you she hated you, I became like your father who abandoned you. I became like your family who stabbed you in your back a million times and those lovers who left you broken hearted.

I can’t apologize enough for all hurtful words I said. I can’t lie and promise I won’t do it again because at this time I am blind to true love and if I say goodbye I’ll die inside. I love you too much for you to be with another.

I need you.

I know that’s selfish. I know you hate me.

I know you’ve given me many second chances and my cheating ways have made you lonely and wondering how I could not want someone who wants me so much.

As my knees are on the floor and my head is on your stomach telling you I know you needed me.

I believe you are for me and I am for you and no one can have you and as long as you know that we can be cool.

You can take my bullshit and just teach me how to love you.

My pride is in the way and I can’t let you win so you have to stay so just let me be…

Selfish.

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