Love??

By Flaverinas

I am 31 years old and it has been difficult for me as a transgender woman to find true love in family, with my friends and within my community. Wherever I’m going I fell obsessed about love! I wonder sometimes, “Is it because of who I am?”

No! It seems like everyone is lonely.

Even straight women struggle with love. Some have got children with different men. I can`t blame them, because there is no love anymore.

If you are poor people don’t want to come close to you because you don`t have money to buy their love, especially those of our generation. As a refugee transgender life has not been easy on me. They can see me looking nice but they don’t have any idea how I am surviving.

Sometimes I go out with my friends to relieve stress. Of course I meet those guys who buy you drinks and promise you everything like, “I will always be there for you”. In reality they are usually nowhere to be found. They just want to drink and fuck. Sometimes you meet someone that you love, you spend time with him, and maybe even have sex.  Afterwards you are like, “Wow, that was so nice”, but you don’t see him ever again.

Love is important, more than anything else. Even in the Bible, 1st Corinthians, verse 1, talks about true love. It says that even if I give to the poor but when I don`t have love its nothing in the eyes of God.

As sex workers we meet amazing things outside.

Some guys have got big dicks and fuck you until you feel that you can’t handle it anymore, but because of money you don’t say anything. They don’t even feel embarrassed or say sorry to you. Some of them smoke drugs and try to get you to smoke them as well, but I always refuse, because I don’t think those people have love. I love, and love to be loved.

My vision is to one day find a real love. Someone that is going to be there for me. Someone who loves me the way I am! Not someone who loves what I have got in my hand.

I am 31 years old, and it has been difficult for me as a transgender woman to find true love in family, friends and community. Wherever I’m going I fell obsessed about love! I wonder sometimes, “Is it because of who I am?” No it seems everyone is lonely.

Even straight women struggle with love.

Some have got children with different men. I can`t blame them, because there is no love anymore.

If you are poor people don’t want to come close to you, because you don`t have money to buy their love, especially those of our generation. As a refugee transgender life has not been easy on me. They can see me looking nice but they don’t have a picture of how I’m surviving.

Sometimes I go out with my friends to relieve stress. Of cause I meet those guys who buy you drinks and promise you everything like, “I will always be there for you”. But when it comes to reality they are nowhere to be found. They just want to drink and fuck. Sometimes you meet someone that you love, you spend time with him, and maybe even have sex.  Afterwards you are like, “Wow, that was so nice”, but you don’t see him ever again.

Love is important more than anything else. Even in the Bible (1st Corinthians, verse 13) it talks about true love. It says that even if I give to the poor but when I don`t have love its nothing in the eyes of God. As sex workers we meet amazing things outside. Some guys have got big dicks and fuck you until you feel that you can’t handle it anymore, but because of money you don’t say anything. And they don’t even feel embarrassed or say sorry to you. Some of them smoke drugs and try to get you to smoke them as well, but I always refuse, because I don’t think those people got love. I love, and love to be loved.

My vision is to one day find a real love; someone that is going to be there for me. Someone who loves me the way I am! Not someone who loves what I have got in my hand.

Image: Hebru Brantley
Image: Hebru Brantley

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