HOLAAfrica!

A PanAfricanist Queer Womanist Collective

On hot, safe lesbian sex

image via autostraddle.com

image via autostraddle.com

By Lady Mango

Well sisters, there are a lot of upsides to having sex with a woman. Of course the fact that you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant, that you can explore your love, lust, passions and get high between her thighs…but just like sex with men, the hottest sex is safe sex!

You may have a low chance of catching HIV from being with another woman- but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think about protecting each other from other STIs including genital herpes and Chlamydia, as well as thrush which can be transmitted between women.

There is very little information for women who have sex with women out there when it comes to health and safe sex, at least produced by African health programmes and ‘sexperts’. Going to the health clinic for advice can also be a time wasting affair given that you are unlikely to want to disclose that you are loving women- and if you say you are not sexually active they will wonder why you are there (yup, been there!). So here are a few tips and some links for further information…

images

Tip No 1. Be prepared and make it sexy. In any sexual relationship you need to be able to trust your sexual partner enough, even on a one-night stand, to ask your partner to respect each other’s health and to agree to use the necessary precautions. Sex is great, but no need for it to end in STI infections. So get yourself checked out regularly at the health clinic for STIs, and only say ‘yes’ to sex with someone who is committed to your well-being enough to practice safe sex!

Tip No. 2 Make sure that you keep your sex toys clean. Wash them with soap and water after you use them. If you are using toys with more than one partner then put a new condom on every time you use them. In terms of storage, keep them in a clean cloth and somewhere not too dusty….and make sure you rinse them before you use them. In tropical African climates they can get as dirty as everything else in your bedroom- so do yourself and your woman a favour! And on that note, keep yourself clean too….(basic water and soap sisters, please no Dettol or douching….!)

Tip No.3.Make sure you have safe oral sex. Yup, oral sex also has its downsides (mmm…not just all wetness and moans!). A lot of STIs can be transmitted from mouth to vagina and vice versa, so if she is a new love or a casual acquaintance, play it safe!
I have never seen a dental dam on sale in any African country- including South Africa. But you don’t need one. You can use a square of good old kitchen cling film. Put some water-based lube on one side so she doesn’t get cling film burn, lay the lubricated side over her vagina or her anus if you are rimming…(well some people love it!) and let your tongue do the rest!
If you or your partner have obvious wounds or cuts in your mouth, then think about other ways of making love, like fingering, rubbing and using sex toys, until the cuts are healed.

Tip No. 4. Play it safe when you are kissing each other’s lips…no, not those lips, I mean the other lips! This one is a bit trickier, but you can try using the ‘do it yourself’ cling film dental dam.

Tip No.5. Wear latex gloves when you go inside. Use latex gloves with water-based lubricant on them if you are fingering or fisting your woman, especially with a casual partner.

Tip No.6. Live positively. There are quite a number of lesbians and women who have sex with women who are HIV+. If you also have sex with men then make sure you take the precautions and get tested regularly for HIV. And if you or your partner are HIV+ then be open with each other, eat well, take care of each other, take your meds if you are on them- and practice safe sex! HIV+ women are susceptible to other STIs which can affect your health, particularly if your immune system is already suppressed. Play it safe, and enjoy!

So let it flow sisters, and remember- safe sex is hot sex.

More information at:
South African site women2womyn

image via fuckyeahdarkgirls.tumblr

image via fuckyeahdarkgirls.tumblr

British National Health Service site

This post was first published on Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women many thanks to Nana for letting us re-blog this! Follow her on Twitter and follow ‘Adverntures From’ on Twitter

10 comments on “On hot, safe lesbian sex

  1. Pingback: Things I wish I told you before you came out | HOLAAfrica!

  2. roush
    16/07/2013

    so woah

  3. Pingback: HIV and ME: African LGBTI Women speak on HIV/Aids – Pt II | HOLAAfrica!

  4. Pingback: HIV and ME: African LGBTI Women speak on HIV/Aids- Pt I | HOLAAfrica!

  5. Liz
    05/07/2013

    I am so appreciative of this article… Been silently wondering about so many things that you have answered here. Thanks alot for the information.

    • HOLAA!
      08/07/2013

      Glad some questions were answered! We love to know we helped someone! Thank you so much for reading the site!

  6. Sibongile
    05/07/2013

    Hi…thnx 4 da info hope 2 knw more on da hive+ issue…..plz

  7. Androu
    04/07/2013

    Hi. I LOVE the article! I wish this was talked about more often bc soooo many women believe they can’t contract an std from another woman… I myself naively thought that when I first came out many years ago and learned the hard way that isn’t true. I wanted to clarify something in your article. I work in the field of HIV/Std prevention with women and i always tell them that saran wrap is a much more cost effective option for oral sex however only non microwavable saran wrap. The regular kind aka microwavable is porous which allows the ventilation of the heat waves to pass through. Those pores are still big enough for a virus to pass through bc a virus is incredibly small hence why lambskin condoms aren’t promoted in this field. Thank you for the article. Truly awesome… If there were more research on WSW (women who have sex with women) i feel lesbian would be more willing to listen. Hopefully your article gets through to many. Take care. Peace.

    • HOLAA!
      04/07/2013

      Thank you so much for this! Ok so non-microwavable cling/ saran wrap is the best barrier method.

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